Hollywood Blows

It’s hard to fathom a celeb news story with a longer shelf life will ever come along, and in recent years we’ve seen John Edwards knock up Rielle Hunter, Michael Jackson pass away, Tiger Woods completely implode and Britney Spears go bat$h!t insane.

All stories that have piqued lasting interest, yes. None of those topics will likely be emblazoned across supermarket tabloid covers years later, however.

For Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, their place in celebrity gossip history is assured. Here are a couple of gems from this past week …

TOTALLY TRUE: If NW and OK say so ...

According to OK, Brad recently reached out to Jen on the 10th anniversary of their wedding. We’d already heard Jen’s stealing Brad Pitt – this confirms it!

Meanwhile, over in NW, whatever that is, we finally learn THE TRUTH about Brangelina. Considering none of what they say is true, that’s an ironic headline.

Hey, at least these publications are making up new stuff. Just last month, a certain magazine actually rehashed the original Angelina hijacking of Brad.

If Angelina and Brad actually split, would we even believe it? Would we assume Jennifer Aniston were somehow involved? Would OK! wet itself with joy?

We may never know.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston
by Free Britney
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On her promotional tour for Salt, Angelina Jolie has not been shy regarding her happy family life and how she makes a point of spending time with the kids.

She even says she makes them bacon and eggs “every morning.” But is this just a front for a conniving woman who’s been ostracized by her own brood?

We doubt it, but why let truth stand in the way, right In Touch?

First it was the drug photos. Then Jennifer Aniston stealing Brad Pitt back. Now, the  gossip magazine alleges, it’s “secret flings” driving Brangelina apart.

Apparently, Leonardo DiCaprio was involved in one with her. Amazing how often she supposedly gets around for a woman whose every move is chronicled.

Angelina’s children, this rag claims, like the nanny more than her!

Recently, at the Claremont Hotel in Oakland – where their dad is currently filming Moneyball – the kids seemed more interested in the nanny’s company.

“At one point, Maddox and Pax got into a brotherly spat over the ketchup,” a witness says. “The nanny firmly said, ‘Mad, let Paxie have some ketchup.’”

“Maddox said, ‘Mom, do I have to?’ and Pax was whining, ‘Mom, make him give me some.’” That’s right, the boys repeatedly called their nanny “mom.”

Shocking, scandalous stuff … and proof that Angelina is being blackballed by her own family due to her conduct and status as an awful human being.

“Angelina is gone so much working or in meetings that the kids do spend most of their time during the day with the nannies,” a so-called friend claims.

“Publicly, [Jolie] would not like the help to be seen, but kids are so attached to them, they are like family – whether Angelina wants to believe it or not.”

Filed under: Angelina Jolie
by Free Britney
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Angelina Jolie’s worst nightmare.

Jennifer Aniston’s ultimate revenge.

OK! Magazine’s worst cover in .. weeks!

This bogus story (that Us also ran last month) begins with a harrowing night for Jen. On what would have been her 10th wedding anniversary with Brad Pitt, July 29, the actress spoke with Jay Leno before millions of Tonight Show viewers.

What was going through her mind? Her latest movie? The weather? Try a calculated, diabolical scheme to enact vengeance on that B!TCH who stole Brad Pitt from her and reclaim him for herself at long, long last. Mwahahahaha!

Ten years after she married him, Jen will reclaim what’s hers!

“It was an emotional day for her,” a source says of July 29. “She put on a brave front.” So brave. Little did anyone know what she had up her sleeve.

At 41, Jen looks better than ever, and it’s no accident. Insiders say Jennifer is looking to snare Brad with late-night calls, gifts and private meetings.

The magazine boldly proclaims online: IT’S ANGELINA’S WORST NIGHTMARE! FIND OUT HOW JEN IS PLANNING ON STEALING BRAD BACK!

Not remotely true, but CAPS LOCK really moves magazines apparently. We’re just surprised OK! didn’t pin the Angelina Jolie drug photos on Jen.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston
by Free Britney
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Whether it’s the drug photos from her dark past, the motives behind her humanitarian work or her life with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie seems to attract controversy.

Here, we’ll talk about something less controversial: Her hair!

The sexy Salt star recently mixed things up by adding a little flavor to her long hair with soft bangs. Do you like the change? Or prefer her more traditional look?

Take a look at the pictures below and vote in our poll …

Angelina Jolie looks better with …

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Celebrity Hairstyles
by Free Britney
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Whether she’s promoting Salt, spending time with her family or drawing attention humanitarian causes far and wide, Angelina Jolie has looked amazing.

But could a new set photos that show her looking anything but spell the end of her relationship with Brad Pitt? We doubt it, but that’s what Star alleges.

Eight quote-unquote never-before-seen graphic Angelina Jolie drug photos – taken by a friend who the star often got high with – have been released.

They are images that probably aren’t even real she would probably like to forget, and Brad probably already knows about may not be able to forgive.

PHOTOS THAT WILL (PROBABLY NOT) TEAR THEM APART: Not unlike reports of Brad’s flings with Jennifer Aniston, it’s a good read, but we don’t see it happening.

In one photo, the mother of six has black tape over her nipples and a dog leash around her neck. Other shocking pics her during a 14-hour heroin-smoking bender.

Says biographer Andrew Morton, author of Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography:

“The photographs are a startling reminder to Angelina of a period in her life I’m sure she wants to forget, a shady piece of her history that she’s kept hidden away.”

A history guarded, Morton claims, “Even from Brad.”

We’re convinced. Stick a fork in ‘em, they’re done.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt
by Free Britney
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Better watch your back, Kim Jong Il. Angelina Jolie will totally kick your ass. Oh, and your huge ’80s sunglasses look effing ridiculous, BTW. Just saying.

Jolie was in Seoul, South Korea, today to promote her latest action thriller, Salt, which opens with a scene that takes place in a North Korean prison.

That’s not her only connection with the Korean Peninsula, of course. The actress and humanitarian is deeply worried about the people of North Korea.

The persecution defectors face when repatriated to the rogue state appalled Jolie, a goodwill ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees.

Seoul-based officials from the U.N. refugee agency brought the star up to date on the current state of affairs there, and she was naturally appalled.

GOODWILL AMBASSADOR: Angelina Jolie is Salt. And awesome.

“They spoke a lot about the concerns about people being persecuted when they are sent back,” she said. “I’m very concerned about the people.”

Tens of thousands of people from impoverished North Korea have migrated to neighboring China in recent years, activists say, but it’s very risky.

Many are sent back due to an agreement between North Korea and China. Some 19,000 have made it to South Korea, where they are protected.

“I learned today about them gaining citizenship and crossing into South Korea,” Angelina Jolie, who was also promoting her movie, told reporters.

“The UNHCR practices quiet diplomacy in which they do more than they talk about.”

As always, kudos to Angelina for using her high-profile status to bring attention to issues and people who truly need it. She sets a great example.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie
by Free Britney
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Brangelina is awesome. We’ve said it before and will say it again.

While Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have been making the rounds – her Salt premiere, Comic-Con – their attorneys have fought the good fight against false rumors.

No shortage of those to be found regarding the couple, either.

This morning, they accepted an undisclosed settlement (earmarked for charity, of course) from the UK’s News of the World for “false and intrusive allegations.”

You mean the weekly deluge of Brangelina gossip isn’t all true?!? We’re stunned. Five-plus years after Angelina stole Brad, it’s hard to take any story seriously.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have another reason to smile.

The duo called in the legal dogs after a story in January claimed the pair had met with a Los Angeles divorce lawyer to quietly divide their assets, hash out a custody deal and financially provide for their six children in a “messy separation.”

Not the case. And the tabloid paid a heavy price.

While the newspaper removed from the offending celebrity gossip article, it refused to acknowledge that the printed information was untrue until now.

“When the News of the World failed to publicly retract the allegations and apologize for them – thereby leaving their readers in the dark as to the true position – the couple felt they had no alternative than to sue,” their attorney, Keith Schilling, said.

In other news, Ange is gonna help Jen adopt! Like, OMG! Congrats!

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt
by Free Britney
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It’s apparently Turn Back the Clock week over at Us Magazine.

We realize that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s divorce was seen, and is still noted to be, one of the most scandalous, shocking celebrity breakups in recent history.

But we’ll let you in on a tip, Us: They split in January 2005.

Pitt’s affair and subsequent partnership with Angelina Jolie continue to fascinate for obvious reasons, but really guys? We’re revisiting his original split with Jen?

At least Star can think up new Brangelina breakups, secret Brennifer hookups, Angie mind games and Jen loneliness in a bid to keep the love triangle current.

This, however, is basically a five-year-old cover story …

Finally, the truth! Knock us over with a feather!

Yes, we realize the publication cites a new tell-all book about the celebrities and some supposedly new revelations as its reason for dredging this back up again.

What would a new tell-all possibly have to offer, though, and how would we assume any part of it is actually true? Is there no other celebrity gossip out there?

Come on, Us. Jen’s dating a new guy now, and he’s still married to his ex-wife! Surely there’s an adultery / love child story you can fabricate from that, right?

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt - Celebrity Scandals - Jennifer Aniston
by Free Britney
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Although she’s busy helping Jennifer Anison adopt a child, Angelina Jolie found time yesterday to attend the Hollywood premiere of her latest movie, Salt.

The incredibly awesome actress showed up on the red carpet of the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre alongside life partner Brad Pitt. She signed autographs for fans looked generally thrilled to be there:

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Other stars at the event included Jon Voight, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber.

In Salt, Jolie plays an American spy whose government turns on her. Think Jason Bourne, but with breasts. The action movie opens on Friday. Will you go see it?

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt - Movie Premieres
by Hilton Hater
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Celebrity gossip tabloids, like everything else, run the gamut in terms of quality. It’s all sensationalistic and scandalous, but some sources actually tell the truth too!

The following report did not originate from one of those sources.

Lowering the bar further than we ever dreamed possible, NW (whatever that is) provides this new twist on the “let’s make Jennifer Aniston a mom” theme:

She’s adopting … with the help of Angelina Jolie!

What hilarious nonsense. Is there one person on the planet who believes this even a little bit? Secret calls? Letters? Brad insisting they end their fake rift?

While we give the publication credit for being original at least – Jen getting revenge by sneaking around with Brad behind Ange’s back is getting passe – this isn’t gossip, it’s just printing lies. Not unlike Jessica Simpson’s “shock” baby news …

NW: Stands for No Way. True story.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie - Jennifer Aniston
by Free Britney
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