In what would be the most nonsensical, contrived move yet by MTV, Stephanie Pratt is reportedly joining The City once The Hills goes off the air next week.

According to reports, Spencer’s sister has been speaking with producers of The Hills spinoff and is intent on coming aboard Whitney Port’s reality series.

The City also stars Elle employees Olivia Palermo and Erin Kaplan, and recently cast Whitney’s BFF Roxy Olin, who coincidentally works with Port now.

The Hills is ending its six-season run a week from tonight, but Stephanie Pratt, who joined a few years back, isn’t ready for her 15 minutes to expire.

It’s as inevitable as it is unfortunate.

USELESSNESS PERSONIFIED: Is Stephanie Pratt City-bound?

“Now that The Hills is over, Stephanie has been talking about moving to New York for The City,” a source says. “There would be a lot of drama there.”

The reason? Roxy. “Hex-best friend, Roxy Olin, is a regular on the show, and there’s bad blood because Roxy just dropped Stephanie for Whitney Port.”

Stephanie vs. Roxy? Talk about a battle of useless wannabe fashionistas and reality stars. Remember when Steph also worked for Kelly Cutrone briefly?

Lauren Conrad fired her.

If MTV really decided to transplant Stephanie Pratt, not only would that be really annoying for viewers, but it would destroy any credibility The City has.

Eh, bet you they do it.

Filed under: Roxy Olin - Stephanie Pratt - The City
by Free Britney
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The fact that Jenni Farley, a.k.a. J-Woww from Jersey Shore, has a fashion line at all is ironic, given the sheer amount of skin the girl reveals on a daily basis.

Appropriately, though, the line goes by the name of Filthy Couture.

J-Woww debuted it on the runway for the first time at Vegas hotspot Ghostbar this holiday weekend in a 35-minute show, or 33 minutes more than necessary.

If you’ve seen one J-Woww fashion selection, you’ve seen them all – and all or most of the giant fake breasts they reveal before ending up on the floor anyway.

But anyway, models bounded down the catwalk in everything from swimsuits and casual wear to items that Farley-coined “club wear” … undoubtedly classy.

LOW-BROW FASHION: J-Woww is a proud poster child.

Anchored by a smattering of paint or lace, “a lot of these pieces are silicone, gel or hand painted,” the reality star said at the launch party for the clothing line.

“[For] the bathing suits I wanted to go with a grungy, or sexy-grungy look with the chains, but I also wanted to keep it girly with the lace,” she added.

As for seeing her own fashion make its runway debut?

“Very unreal. Surreal,” Farley said. “I’ve had this vision for a long time, and I’ve been in school for seven years doing it but never thought it would come true.”

As for where she got the Filthy Couture name? Jenni says it was inspired by “the genre of music that we like to listen to, you know, the guidos and guidettes.”

We’re sure it’ll be a huge seller. For more J-Woww, check out the aspiring designer and the rest of the guido gang in the Jersey Shore Season 2 trailer!

Filed under: Celebrity Fashion - Jenni Farley
by Free Britney
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How do you know when a fashion trend has hit Hollywood?

When three women from three completely different walks of life are spotted out in it.

Case in point: over the last few weeks, Miranda Cosgrove (a 17-year old pop singer), Kim Kardashian (a 29-year old professional celebrity) and Salma Hayek (a 43-year old Oscar nominee) all showed off new purple dresses.

You know where we’re going with this, right? Compare, contrast and vote below…

Who looks prettiest in purple?

Filed under: Celebrity Fashion - Kim Kardashian - Miranda Cosgrove - Salma Hayek
by Hilton Hater
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Even unparalleled beauty is no match for malaria.

Soon after a trip to Tanzania last week with boyfriend Derek Hough, Cheryl Cole came down with a case of this dangerous disease. Friends told The Daily Mail that The X Factor judge was rushed to the hospital after a bout of “sweating and shaking” at home.

Cole will remain in the hospital for a few days and will need many weeks to recover from the ailment. Said a source:

“Cheryl hadn’t been feeling herself for about a week. She was feeling tired and listless… During Sunday afternoon, Cheryl went downhill quickly. She was sweating and shaking and in a bad way.”

Get better soon, Cheryl! Send in your best wishes to this malaria-stricken sex symbol today!

A spokesman says a mosquito likely bit his client and added: “Following doctors’ advice, Cheryl Cole will be canceling all work commitments for the next week.”

In related news, we’ve never been so jealous of a mosquito in all our lives.

Filed under: Cheryl Cole
by Hilton Hater
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Lauren Conrad is finally returning to The Hills … right after it ends.

One week from tonight, the girl who made the MTV reality show a hit will be on hand for the Live Reunion Show after the now-sagging series mercifully goes off the air.

The reunion will immediately follow the series finale of The Hills and the season finale of The City. Whitney Port reported the LC news, as well as her own attendance:

“I am so happy to tell you all that I will be attending the reunion, as will Lauren!” Whitney wrote on her official site. “I am so excited to see everyone and catch up.”

“I am so excited to see what’s next for them,” the former Hills star and current City leading lady continued. “It’s been so long since we have all been together.”

REUNITED: For one night and one night only, next Tuesday.

What remains unclear is whether Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, exiled from the show in recent weeks without notice, will appear between now and July 13.

The gruesome twosome was featured prominently in the first part of this season, but then Spencer went haywire, they supposedly broke up in real life, etc.

It’s not clear why, but there has been no explanation of their vanishing from the series. Tonight, the penultimate episode of The Hills airs, followed by The City.

The former will likely focus on Kristin and Audrina’s predictably boring romantic drama. Sigh. We can only hope Speidi returns to liven things up one last time.

Filed under: Lauren Conrad - The City - The Hills - Whitney Port
by Free Britney
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Forget fireworks, beach visits and barbecues.

There’s only one real way to celebrate the Fourth of July: by sitting back and listening to the melodic sounds of the two most adorable singers alive today.

That’s what lucky concert attendees in New York City and Washington D.C. enjoyed on Sunday, as Justin Bieber performed for the former and David Archuleta for the latter.

Fortunately, THG is your hook-up for footage from these events, as you can watch Bieber belt out a version of “Somebody to Love” below and Archuleta follow it up with a rendition of “Stand By Me.” Happy birthday, America, thanks for giving us these talented young stud muffins…

Filed under: David Archuleta - Justin Bieber
by Hilton Hater
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So close.

Eclipse came ever so close to knocking Spider-Man 2 from its top perch and establishing a new box office record for a film’s first six days in release.

Alas, the third Twilight Saga installment will have to settle for a mere $175 million in domestic earnings so far.

That figure actually falls short of New Moon‘s opening six-day haul, as it grossed $178 million in less than a week. Still, Eclipse has set a quartet of benchmarks:

1. Biggest midnight gross of all-time.
2. Biggest Wednesday ever.
3. Widest release in cinematic history.
4. Loudest screams from fans in attendance.

Despite a mixed bag of reviews, the movie has made over $275 million worldwide.

While Toy Story 3 continues to bring in the bucks, we’d be surprised if Eclipse wasn’t the highest-grossing film of the summer when all is said and done. Instead of staring each other down, Jacob and Edward should really be high-fiving in the photo above.

Filed under: Eclipse
by Hilton Hater
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Only four men remain on The Bachelorette now. Maybe you noticed.

Last night’s episode of the reality TV saga was dominated by a Jake and Vienna interview for the ages, making everything else seem boring and irrelevant.

Follow the above link for an entire recap devoted to that nonsense. Below, we give Ali Fedotowsky and crew their due as her quest for love hits Portugal.

Here’s THG’s patented plus-minus rundown of the episode …

Ali and Roberto Martinez take pictures of each other, hear music on the street and start dancing right there. SO romantic and NOT AT ALL staged. Minus 4.

They make nice conversation about Roberto’s family, the hunk says really nice things to Ali, they kiss and we think he’s the favorite, hands down. Plus 8.

Who will The Bachelorette star choose?

Ty and Frank go on the awkward two-on-one date ever. Minus 5, ’cause they just bitch about the format the whole time. You’re on The Bachelorette, guys.

Frank lives with his parents. Minus 4, but Ty does him one better by saying he’s “tickled” Ali has a plan and a career of her own. Sexist much? Minus 20.

Kirk’s date takes place in a big castle, at which he talks about his illness and how it made him reexamine his life. Again with the mold poisoning. Plus 9.

Minus 12, or approximately one point for each use of the word “hometown.” Like saying “wrong reasons” ad nauseam, guess they stick to the script.

Fortunately, Chris Lambton not only refers to his town’s name (Dennis, Mass.), he knocks it out of the park on his date. Moped skills aside. Plus 13.

Chris and Roberto can do no wrong.

The narrative of Chris’ mom’s death is a wee bit overblown, but he seems so genuinely sweet about it, how can you not give the guy another Plus 11?

Minus 7 for blurring out Chris’ Boston Red Sox shirt.

If you’re up on The Bachelorette spoilers, you knew that Ty or Kirk was going home at the rose ceremony, and it was Ty in a bit of a surprise. Plus 5.

Again, see the link above for the full rundown, but for all her flaws, sad Vienna Girardi came off 100 times better than pompous Jake Pavelka. Wash.

How funny was next week’s preview, considering how much Frank whines about not getting time with Ali, the alleged girl of his dreams?! Minus 15.

TOTAL: -9. SEASON: +130.

Roses: Chris, Roberto, Frank and Kirk.

Out: Ty.

Filed under: Ali Fedotowsky - Chris Lambton - Jake Pavelka - Roberto Martinez - The Bachelorette - Vienna Girardi
by Free Britney
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If you thought Miley Cyrus hated clothing, look at the step her ex-boyfriend has taken.

Justin Gaston is featured in the latest naked PETA ad, posing in his birthday suit alongside some girl named Giglianne Braga and some dude named Ben Elliott.

The trio star on If I Can Dream, an online reality show that chronicles their attempts to make it big in the music world. Of course, if that doesn’t work out, there’s clearly a career in soft porn ahead for these three.

It’s unclear what message PETA is trying to send with these posters, but they practically make the Danielle Staub sex tape look PG by comparison…

Just when you thought PETA ads couldn’t get more random and pathetic.

Filed under: Justin Gaston - PETA
by Hilton Hater
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You know I love you, I try to stick it to you whenever I can.
- Scott Disick

Not even Fourth of July Weekend could slow down the writers of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. They penned such winning lines as the one uttered above and came up with a new episode of this E! reality show last night. We forced an intern to watch and she filed the following report…

It’s honestly hard to get through KKTM these days without Khloe speaking like a 4 year old.  It’s really effing killing me, which makes it harder to write this review, but here goes.

Scott and Kourtney are a bipolar couple. The polo event they went to was so staged it was ridiculous.  Congrats, producers, for coming up with new locations and storylines to paint the exact story you want.  So Kourtney flirts with a hot polo player and Scott doesn’t even care.  As she laments to Khloe that it felt sexual to be on the horse with a polo hottie, Scott is in the backseat with the baby deciding aloud that he’s “really in the mood for a taco.”

The Kardashians are such pros at working the camera and Scott has picked up the tricks of the trade pretty quickly.  He knows it makes for better television if he resists Kourtney’s taunting and forces her to take her game to the next level. 

This brings us to Kourtney staging a lesbionic reunion with season one fling Jackie.  Scott smells BS the second he walks in the door and upstages her.  I truly was laughing when he came outside in his robe and suggested a threesome.  He’s fully bucko, swinging his dong at these ladies, with his microphone cord visibly hanging behind him. 

Scott’s crazy, but he’s definitely amusing.  Kourtney calls him a sicko, Jackie leaves, and Scott tells her that he always wants to get down with her, there’s no need to play these games.

Next, Khloe flies back to LA for a few days to see Lamar. 

She prances around their mansion in her lingerie and animal print clothing talking like a baby.  Oh, the honeymoon stage. Sigh.  However, while Khloe wants romance, Lamar just wants some bromance.  Rob (possibly my favorite Kardashian) has moved in with Khloe instead of living with his rents at age 23.

I will sincerely say it’s very sweet how Lamar and Rob have bonded.  As the youngest sibling in a large family, it is often difficult to integrate your significant other and your siblings.  But I digress: Khloe wants to get down with her hubby and the NBA is ruining it.

One of my favorite things about this whacky family is how open they are; But SERIOUSLY, c’mon Khloe and Lamar, you guys are in the tub, that’s beyond private time.  You’re not helping fight the media whore rumors when you bring your intimate moments to TV. I mean, I hope his kids don’t watch this.

Lastly, Khloe is getting paranoid.  I guess it’s not easy being the wife of a Lakers star.  I wouldn’t want a strange ho in my bedroom when I got home, but it seems that she’s more on guard than usual.  Nervous about the girl trying to sell stories to the paparazzi and take pics in their bed?  Seems kinda extreme, but then again I’m not famous and I wouldn’t know. 

Just another week in 100% scripted reality television.

Filed under: Khloe Kardashian - Kourtney Kardashian
by Hilton Hater
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