Proof That God Hates Kim Kardashian

May 18, 2010


As a celebrity gossip blogger, Kim Kardashian is a God send. She provides endless material with which we can mock the heck out of this utterly talentless reality star.

But Kim herself has not had the same luck with The Man Upstairs. In the latest issue of Shape, she shares what life was like as a big-breasted child.

Because her boobs were so much bigger than anyone else at the age of 10, Kim says “I remember crying in the bathtub… I took a washcloth, made it hot, put it over my chest and prayed, ‘Please don’t let them grow any bigger. They’re embarrassing me.’”

And did God heed this prayer? YOU TELL US.

Sexy for Shape

Thanks to her large breasts, Kim Kardashian is famous. Thanks to an unhealthy diet of QuickTrim and Photoshop experts, she looks like this.

Bristol Palin to earn $30K a day!

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Like her mother before her, Bristol Palin will now be stepping behind the podium — and the 19-year-old single mom will be charging up to $30,000 a speech! Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin‘s daughter has signed with Single Source Speakers, and will be available to address conferences, fundraisers, and women’s youth, abstinence and pro-life programs. It seems as though Bristol, mother of 16-month-old Tripp, has found her true calling. “It’s really empowering because you know you’re sharing your story and know you’re doing something that’s good for other girls,” she recently told In Touch before advocating abstinence at The Candie’s Foundation “Event To Prevent” Benefit in New York.

Indrani: Lindsay Lohan’s New Cougar Lover?


Is Lindsay Lohan dating again? Dating an older woman, no less?

That’s the rumor – and the rumored girl-on-girl temptress is stunning photographer and reality-show star Indrani, half of the famed Markus Klinko and Indrani duo.

Lohan, who previously dated Samantha Ronson, has been secretly seeing Indrani since the women worked together on a photo shoot last fall, the N.Y. Post reports.

Sources say the train wreck and Indrani, a.k.a. Julia I. Pal-Chaudhuri, have been on a series of dates in L.A. and recently spent the night at Lindsay Lohan’s hotel.

Indrani told The Post, “We have been spending a lot of time together.”

“I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot.”

Wow. So much for Lindsay’s Sam-or-bust lesbian policy

Lindsay Lohan and Indrani

Are Lindsay Lohan and Indrani dating?

“Lindsay gets a lot of bad press,” Indrani continued, “But she’s a really strong, creative woman and is trying really hard to get her life in a good, positive place.”

Indrani’s partner Klinko confirmed the relationship, and says they’re good for each other: “Lindsay and Indrani have been seeing each other since we shot her.”

“I’ve seen them on dates, I have seen them making out … Indrani is a good influence on Lindsay. She is the total opposite of a party girl – a Princeton graduate.”

“She’s into art, is a philanthropist – not a typical girl for Lindsay Lohan to go out with. When they are together, they talk about art and the deeper meaning in life.”

Sounds like a match made in heaven, right? Not so fast, says Lindsay, who’s currently in Cannes (and may be kept there by a volcano spewing ash from Iceland).

Lindsay emphatically denied a relationship to Us, saying “No, no, no. In NO way am I dating her.” However, Fox411.com reports a “racy” encounter just days ago.

Abe Gurko of IMeanWhat.com, who was at their shoot, said “The mood was amazing … Lindsay and Indrani were cozy at the end of the shoot and snuggling up.”

“There’s definitely a sensual attraction.”

Sooo … yeah. Stay tuned!

Will Lindsay go back to jail?

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Three years after her brief stint in the slammer, Lindsay Lohan may be headed back behind bars — and Mother Nature may be to blame! According to reports, the troubled starlet, who was convicted of her second DUI in 2007, has failed to follow her judge’s orders to attend alcohol education class once every seven days — and she’s due back in court on May 20. Too bad Lindsay, who has been spotted partying around Cannes, may not be able to make it because the volcanic ash around Iceland is reportedly preventing her from catching a flight back to LA! The judge accused Lindsay of “thumbing her nose at the court” last October at a Beverly Hills court hearing for skipping her required classes, and added an extra year onto her probation sentence. Now, if she doesn’t show up on Thursday, a warrant will be issued for her arrest and she could face jail time. She was locked up for 84 minutes in November 2007 after a tough year of two DUIs and three stints in rehab.

Rima Fakih to Retain Miss USA Title Despite Stripper Pole Controversy


Hallelujah. Rima Fakih, who was just crowned Miss USA 2010, will strut on with her crown, despite revelations that she strutted her stuff on a stripper pole.

Rima Fakih participated in – and won! – a “Stripper 101″ radio contest a few years back. A Detroit radio show sponsored the exotic dance contest in 2007.

The Miss USA 2010 winner will go ahead with her planned media tour soon. Fakih, 24, the Miss Michigan title holder, is currently receiving media training.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe pageant, the parent organization of Miss USA, is not expected to comment on the contest flap … for a change.

In the past, he’s been vocal about his controversial beauty queens, including ex-Miss California USA 2009 Carrie Prejean and Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner.

Miss USA Stripping

Rima Fakih won the title as the USA’s most beautiful woman Sunday in Las Vegas. But afterward, pictures of Fakih in a tiara soon gave way to ones of her on the pole.

Not to say Fakih’s handlers didn’t look into the stripper pole photos.

“The Miss Universe representatives called earlier today,” a radio station rep told ABC News. “They wanted to see if we have more photos or information.”

“They couldn’t tell us what their intentions were and we absolutely didn’t want to give them anything that might cause her to relinquish her crown.”

The show’s co-host called the flap “ridiculous” as “she’s wearing more clothes in the photos on our site than she was in those photos for the pageant.”

Hard to argue with that.

He said the contest was run by actual strippers, but contestants did not strip. “They’re not naked. They’re encouraged to wear comfortable clothes.”

As champion of the pole, won some jewelry from the show’s sponsors and a take-home stripper pole. Hardly enough to lose a Miss USA title over.

Does Rima Fakih deserve to remain Miss USA?

Jennifer Aniston: Smart Water Sexy


Man, Jennifer Aniston just looks so hot … literally.

In a new ad campaign for SmartWater, the actress is drenched in sweat, showing Brad Pitt what he’s missing … her ripped, impressively toned abs.

Wearing workout gear and clutching a bottle of water, the physucally fit 41-year-old gives the camera a breathless look. The text of the ad reads:

“Working out feels great… afterwards … That’s why I drink Smart. It’s hydration I can feel. (And that’s one part of my routine I never sweat.)”

Enough talk. More hotness (and fitness) …

Smart Water Hottie

Jennifer Aniston makes you want to reach for … SmartWater.

Yoga and fitness buff Aniston, who some say has the best body ever, has been a brand spokeswoman for Glaceau SmartWater since back in 2007.

Hey, it’s not Jennifer Aniston nude (like her new perfume ads) but it’s pretty solid. Makes you want to … work out? Maybe a little if she were there?

Demi Lovato: Love with Joe Jonas is “scary”

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Romance is hard at 17, but especially in the spotlight. That’s why Demi Lovato only confessed that she was dating her Camp Rock co-star Joe Jonas, 20, two months ago — and she’s a realist about their relationship. “It was not only scary just coming out to the public eye, but also the people that we work with,” Demi, who is about to go on tour with her boyfriend for the summer, tells In Touch, pointing out that they’re both still young. “You never know what can happen. You can’t make any crazy decisions right now and say, ‘We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives.’” But for now, the future looks bright. “I know that we’re at an incredible point and most likely we’ll be together for a really long time. And I think ultimately, everyone who knows us knows that we’ll always be best friends, no matter what happens!”

Miley Cyrus Bound for Dancing with the Stars, Kentucky, London


With a new album on the way, fans can look forward to more Miley Cyrus than usual over the next few weeks.

When and where is this singer coming to a TV screen, city or area near you? We’ve got the deets…

  • Miley will perform “Cant Be Tamed” on tonight’s Dancing with the Stars result show. Sources say: “Miley wants to make a big splash, so she’s put a lot of work into this performance.”
  • Later this week, she’ll visit Kentucky on behalf of Blessings in a Backpack, a charity that provides hungry children with packs full of sustenance. “The kids don’t even know she’s coming yet,” said an insider. “It is abject poverty in that area. When you are feeding these children you are making a difference in their education, their self-esteem.”
  • On June 5, Cyrus will play a concert in London’s G-A-Y nightclub. Other stars to have performed there include Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey Lady GaGa and, most recently, Adam Lambert.

Miley at the Mic

Don’t like Miley Cyrus? You may wanna turn off your computer and television this summer.

Mariah’s fire scare!

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Mariah Carey lit up the stage on Monday in Giza, Egypt — literally! “Getting ready to go onstage and suddenly there was a surge of power and an electrical fire started under my feet!” she wrote on Twitter. “Naturally, my emergency instincts kicked in and I put out the flames with a towel. The funny thing about this is an ol’ skool radio station in the other room started playing ‘aww freak out!’ @ that exact moment!” Thankfully, Mariah was able to perform a private concert at the pyramids in front of 3,000 people and later posted a picture of “the charred remains of my fire on the Nile,” she wrote. “Other than that, the trip was a smash…”

Megan Fox: I Keep Getting F-cked!


Note to men everywhere: Megan Fox nude photos may be nice to ogle, but they come with a disclaimer:

The actress will beat the ass of the person that leaks these.

When asked in the most recent issue of Allure about being photographed topless while filming Passion Play, Fox replied:

“If I knew who took this picture, I would personally cause them harm – physical harm, I’m not a fucking reality-TV star that’s courting the paparazzi and wants my fucking picture taken all the time. I’m at my job and I’m trying to play a character and I’m trying to be serious, and this is the shit that’s happening to me. It makes me furious.”

Seriously, stalkers: why invade this beauty’s privacy when she often gets practically naked for magazines and underwear campaigns anyway?

Allure Cover Shot

Fox touched on a number of other issues in the interview. Among them:

On her blunt personality in interviews: “I was trying to be lighthearted and have a sense of humor, but I have no desire to express it, really, anymore, because I’ve always been fucked doing so.”

On being alone: “I could go days, weeks without talking to another human being.”

On food: “I’ll starve to death before I’ll cook for myself. I think I could survive a week without eating.”

The actress also classifies her OCD as an “illness” because she won’t use public restrooms or restaurant silverware. If that’s the case, we officially offer to help Fox by playing doctor with her. Any time…

Backstage PictureSimple, ElegantSo Very AlluringCute When Close UpAllure Picture

A Beautiful FoxColorful ClothingNice Outfit, Ugly HairHot, as UsualRetro HotnessReally Hot