Forming what will be one of the funnier marriages ever, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher finally wed, according to the Australian magazine Women’s Day.

The notoriously private couple invited just a few close relatives to witness them become husband and wife in a traditional Jewish ceremony last Monday.

“We did it – we’re married!” bubbled an ecstatic Isla in an email to friends around the world the following day. “It was the absolute best day of my life.”

The Australian actress and the British comedian have been engaged in 2004, but despite having a daughter, Olive, in 2007, put off marriage a long time.

This led to speculation they were reluctant to make their relationship official, but friends say they were simply waiting for the right time to get hitched.

BRIDE OF BORAT: Isla Fisher is now Mrs. Sacha Baron Cohen!

“They were never bothered by the constant public pressure to marry and all along were just considering the venue – Australia or the US,” a friend says.

As for the nuptials’ venue, “Paris was the late starter but was the best option at short notice for their families, and it won them over with romance.”

In spite of Sacha’s outrageous alter egos Ali G, Bruno and Borat, the Cohen is said to be very shy in real life, thus the pair opted for a private celebration.

Friends claim the newlyweds’ differences are what makes them a successful couple. To use one of the simplest, yet most profound Borat quotes: NICE!

Filed under: Celebrity Weddings - Isla Fisher - Sacha Baron Cohen
by Free Britney
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The former spouses of Michelle McGee and Jesse James are seeking custody of their kids following McGee’s divulging of her affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband.

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, the alleged Jesse James mistress, is now locked in a custody battle with ex-husband Ronald Shane Modica. It’s getting nasty, too.

Modica is seeksing temporary and legal custody of Avery, their five-year-old son, filing a motion as a direct result of the sex scandal involving his ex and James.

Court documents shed alarming new light on Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. Modica states that “I need protection” amid the swarm of celebrity gossip attention.

“If [Michelle McGee] sees Avery, she will bring these curosity seekers and glory hounds down on herself and Avery, totally confusing and frankly scaring him.”

Jesse James’ alleged mistress, Michelle McGee, is a real piece of work.

He also adds that Avery gets upset when it’s time to go to his mother’s house, declaring “He fights me violently, and screams, yells, cries and begs not to go.”

We can see why, given all the Nazi paraphernalia.

Modica fears McGee may flee to Australia (where she reportedly has a boyfriend) and take Avery with her, and calls out her lifestyle of “stripping, pills, alcohol.”

He says she has brought her X-rated “performances” into the home she shares with Avery, such as “pornographic shoots there and live WEB cam broadcasts.”

Gross. But not as upsetting as accusations that Michelle dated gang members, and is mentally ill yet refuses to take prescribed medication for bipolar disorder.

In light of McGee’s now-infamous Nazi photo shoot, Modica alleges that her home features “child block magnets on the refrigerator that spell out ‘White Power.’”

James is currently undergoing a similar situation.

Maybe Michelle and Jesse James can commiserate, because his ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder, is going to court to wrestle custody from Jesse at the same time.

The trigger was the Michelle McGee/Sandra Bullock meltdown.

Janine Lindemulder, who has clashed with James and Bullock in the past, has filed legal papers in their custody case involving six-year-old daughter, Sunny.

Currently, Jesse has full custody of Sunny. Why? Because Janine lives in a halfway house after being locked up for tax evasion, natch. Real normal situation.

Until this week he didn’t stand a chance of gaining even partial custody, since Bullock was such a stabilizing family influence, any judge would shut her down.

Now, however, it’s game on! According to sources, Janine now believes Sandra will divorce Jesse and she feels she has a shot at getting some custodial rights.

She did already move out, supposedly, though the paid has not officially split or acknowledged the affair aside from James’ vague apology statement Thursday.

Filed under: Jesse James - Michelle McGee
by Free Britney
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Last week, Joslyn James teed off on Tiger Woods by leaking a truckload of filthy texts allegedly from the golfer on her aptly-named website, sextingjoslynjames.com.

The Tiger Woods text messages, presented on a hilarious “iBone,” present him as a seriously depraved individual. She says there’s more were that came from, too.

In an interview with a New Zealand radio station, James says she plans to leak more dirty details soon, because people, including Elin Woods, have a right to know.

We totally do. Her interview highlights included:

• Joslyn James denying she provoked the nasty, angry sexting.
• Joslyn throwing Woods’ caddy, Steve Williams, under the bus, ands teasing that she met other “athlete celebrities” during her dalliances with Tiger.
• Joslyn calling Woods “a grown man who made the choice to send those messages based on things he wanted to try of a sexual nature and I obliged.”
• Joslyn denying she sold out Tiger for money, but at the same time teasing her big “future plans” and hilariously plugging her website on the air.

Here’s the full-length Joslyn James interview …

Filed under: Joslyn James - tiger woods
by Free Britney
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If you thought the House of Representatives’ passage of health care reform was the biggest achievement by someone named Obama in the past week, think again.

Michelle Obama appeared on The Simpsons last night!

Sadly, the First Lady of the United States did not voice her own animated likeness, but Angela Bassett did a terrific job filling in with some quality Simpsons quotes.

Faux Michelle came to Springfield to tell Lisa it’s okay to be an overachieving girl. Who knew Mrs. Obama was a reader of Lisa’s organic gardening blog? Go Lisa!

One of many funny touches? Michelle going by the name “FLOTUS1.” Awesome. Here’s one of our favorite Michelle Obama pictures of FLOTUS1 on The Simpsons:

Lisa gets a pat on the brain from the First Lady.

Filed under: Michelle Obama
by Free Britney
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Later this spring, the Glee cast will honor Madonna with an episode based around Material Girl singles.

To milk that unique installment as much as it can, the show will subsequently release a CD – on April 20, titled “Glee: The Music, The Power of Madonna” – comprised of these songs. Sung by Glee‘s actors and actress, they’ll be:

1. Express Yourself
2. Borderline/Open Your Heart
3. Vogue
4. Like A Virgin
5. 4 Minutes
6. What It Feels Like For A Girl
7. Like A Prayer

Filed under: Glee - Madonna
by Hilton Hater
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One minor point may have been omitted from Dr. Conrad Murray’s initial statements about treating Michael Jackson: That he administered Propofol to the singer.

Propofol, of course, is likely what did Michael in. Details.

A paramedic report in the Jackson case, published by News of the World, reportedly says Dr. Murray withheld that fact from the EMTs on the fateful June day.

The report also states that paramedics felt Jackson was Michael dead when they got to the star’s home but he demanded the icon be rushed to the hospital.

As the highest ranking medical professional present, his wish was granted. But did Dr. Conrad Murray request this only as a way to get himself off the hook?

Dr. Conrad Murray’s treatment of Michael Jackson was questionable at best, criminal at worst. Officials continue to probe what the star’s personal physician did June 25.

Jackson had reportedly flatlined by the time paramedics arrived at the house, and he had no blood pressure, pulse or breath. His pupils were also dilated.

According to the report, Dr. Murray told paramedics Jackson was exhausted because he couldn’t fall asleep and he had given Michael Lorazepam, a sedative.

Omitting that he gave Jackson Propofol is no doubt something paramedics should have known about and will almost certainly be used by prosecutors at trial.

The Michael Jackson death timeline and conflicting statements from Murray, who faces involuntary manslaughter charges, should form the crux of their case.

Filed under: Dr. Conrad Murray - michael jackson
by Free Britney
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Last week, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for this great picture of Robert Pattinson posing with an adoring fan.

Your winner for this edition of our Caption Contest is Aliana. Hopefully she’s not Lindsay’s sister, but either way, the winning entry appears below.

Congratulations! The winning caption appears below. Honorable mentions: DAhere, bamb and Penny. Follow the above link for all the entries.

Thank you to everyone for playing and good luck next time!

(she) OMG He is so hot….
(he) OMG I’m so hot….

Filed under: Caption Contest - Robert Pattinson
by Free Britney
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We can totally see an exclusive nightclub or fashion show simply not wanting to deal with the train wreck that is Lindsay Lohan and denying her admittance.

The world’s largest democracy blacklisting her, however?

Britain’s Telegraph reports that government officials in India are mulling whether to ban Lohan permanently from the nation following her December visit.

Too bad she has U.S. citizenship and we can’t follow suit.

Filming a BBC documentary about child labor and human trafficking, Lohan claimed she saved 40 kids’ lives in a single day during a raid on a sweatshop.

The good news: Those kids were in fact rescued. The bad news? Not by Lindsay. The alleged actress and milkaholic apparently played no actual role in it.

Lindsay did go to India. After that, the facts are as blurry as this pic.

“Over 40 children saved so far … All within one day’s work … This is what life is about … Doing THIS is a life worth living!!!” Lindsay bragged on Twitter.

Activists were offended by her boast, and pointed out that the actress arrived in India after the raids in question, and played no part in rescuing the kids.

This led officials to discover she violated India’s visa rules: Lohan failed to apply for a work visa for the trip, and illegally filmed a documentary as a tourist.

The Telegraph writes that civil servants in New Delhi are now investigating the case to determine whether Lohan will be added to an immigration blacklist.

So basically, she used the trip to highlight the superficiality of celebrity life, while trying to superficially score points for going, as she didn’t do anything.

Way to go, Linds. Just stick to posing like Jesus next time.

Filed under: Lindsay Lohan
by Free Britney
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Britney Spears was pretty messed up in the head at one point. Having been a star her entire adult life, the various demands and pressures just got to her.

We’re beginning to understand why.

Having gone back to blonde, the bombshell stopped at a local 76 gas station to grab an orange soda and a fellow petroleum consumer couldn’t help herself.

Wow. Way to be subtle, lady. Sure you couldn’t swoop in for a hug while you’re at it? Nice to see that Britney has again determined that bras are optional …

Britney Spears: Gas station chic. [Photos: Fame Pictures; Some chick]

No word if Jason Trawick, Britney’s boyfriend and agent, who has been the subject of many breakup rumors over the last few weeks, was there to witness this.

Either way, a shameless amateur photographer clearly was … as was a professional photographer, taking a picture of the amateur. At least the latter got paid.

Filed under: Britney Spears - Ogling
by Free Britney
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Chalk this one up for celebrity gossip.

Stars often treat tabloids and entertainment news coverage with disdain, but Katherine Heigl was thankful for a particular Access Hollywood personality last week.

As she was accepting the honor of Female Star of the Year at the ShoWest Awards, Heigl’s dress literally fell apart. Luckily, Billy Bush graciously came to the rescue.

Holding her shoulder strap in place, Bush did Heigl a major solid. Guys everywhere probably wished he weren’t present, however. Thisclose, fellas. Thisfrickinclose.

Katherine Heigl nearly gives the performance of a lifetime.

Thanks to Bush, Heigl, whose exit from Grey’s Anatomy was recently announced, didn’t make a similar departure from her clothing. Billy later Tweeted:

“Oh my, hosting showest awards in LV. Heigl comes up to get award, dress strap breaks… I hold her top on while she accepts!” Summed up rather succinctly.

Heigl’s bare shoulder wasn’t all she displayed at the Las Vegas gala. The star also showed off her new hairdo: The famously blonde actress is now brunette.

Here’s Billy narrowly preventing a Katherine Heigl nude picture …

Resourceful Billy made sure he was the only Bush on display that night.

Filed under: Celebrity Fashion - Katherine Heigl
by Free Britney
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