Next thing you know, Heidi Montag will say her breasts are fake and Jon Gosselin will admit he cares more about attention than his children…

In a development only anyone with a pulse could have seen coming, Tila Tequila has insinuated that she’s having a miscarriage.

THG predicted the demise of her fake child in late January, as we asked readers to name the date on which the troubled bisexual would start to Tweet about losing her “baby.” Who had February 15 in their office pool?

Earlier today, Tila left multiple messages that implied she was on the verge of suicide due to miscarrying her fetus. Neither of these events are joking matters, but this is Tila Tequila. Nothing is off limits if it extends your 15 minutes in the spotlight another second or two…

** UPDATE: Tila will not be killing herself. The reason?

She has “been APPROVED to adopt my own baby boy 2-3 years old from RUSSIA!!! I will be his Mommy by the end of the year!!”

If this were remotely true, we’d make some joke about it being the worst Russian idea since Communism. Instead, we’ll ask readers to start a new pool: When will this adoption “fall through” for Tila?

Filed under: Tila Tequila - Twitter
by Hilton Hater
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The sexy and single Lindsay Lohan will once again be hitting the dating scene — for a good cause! The starlet, who split with DJ Samantha Ronson last year after a tumultuous relationship, will be auctioning off a Hollywood night out with the party queen herself to the highest bidder as she hosts the
iRock4Haiti charity benefit at club Altitude 360 in London on February 16.
The lucky fan will also receive first-class flights and a week in a swanky
LA hotel. In another effort to help the victims of last month’s devastating
earthquake in Haiti, for a limited time, Lindsay is donating 100% of the
proceeds from her 6126 brand’s silver Fame leggings to the Save the
Children Foundation. “It is truly horrible what has happened to the people
and children in Haiti. I believe every company should do their part to help
by donating what they can,” says the kindhearted actress.

Filed under: InTouch - Latest News
by In Touch Weekly Magazine
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Kevin Smith experienced turbulence on a Southwest Airlines plane yesterday before it ever even left the terminal. The actor/director claims that a pilot kicked him off of the flight from Oakland to Burbank, Calif., because he was too large to fit in a single seat. According to the airline, its customer-of-size policy requires all travelers must be able to put both armrests down or purchase two seats. The 39-year-old, who usually does pay for two seats, opted to squeeze into one because he was flying standby, which lead a flight attendant to request that he vacate the aircraft, immediately. Kevin insists that not only were both of his armrests down in the proper position, but that he also already had his seatbelt buckled. “I’m way fat, but I’m not there just yet,” he posted on his Twitter page, shortly after the incident. “I broke no regulation, offered no ‘safety risk’ (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?),” he added. The airline has issued an apology to Kevin via Twitter and its website, and also offered him a $100 voucher, but there’s no word on whether, Kevin, who arrived in Burbank on a later flight, will ever fly the friendly skies with them again.

Filed under: InTouch - Latest News
by In Touch Weekly Magazine
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While Andrew Garcia, Lilly Scott and other early favorites battle it out on American Idol, a trio of season eight finalists took to the stage Friday night and reminded this group how far they still have to go.

Kris Allen, Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta all took part in Ryan Seacrest’s “Rock My Town” show at Manhattan’s Highline Ballroom.

The singers played individual sets, much to the delight of those in attendance, and then closed the show with a three-part rendition of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” It’s an absolute must-watch for fans of these artists…

Filed under: Adam Lambert - Allison Iraheta - Kris Allen
by Hilton Hater
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The young adults have spoken and they’ve made their opinion very clear:

Miley Cyrus rules!

The 17-year-old actress/singer has garnered four Kids Choice Awards’ nominations, all in major categories: Favorite Movie Actress, TV Actress, Female Singer and Favorite Song.

Check out the full list of nominees below, as the ceremy airs on March 27 and will likely feature Miley on stage, thanking God for her incredible popularity…

Favorite TV Actor
Cole Sprouse
Dylan Sprouse
Joe Jonas
Nick Jonas

Favorite TV Actress
Miranda Cosgrove
Miley Cyrus
Selena Gomez
Keke Palmer

Favorite TV Show
iCarly
Sonny with a Chance
The Suite Life on Deck
Wizards of Waverly Place

Favorite Music Group
Black Eyed Peas
Coldplay
Jonas Brothers
Linkin Park

Favorite Female Singer
Beyonce
Miley Cyrus
Lady Gaga
Taylor Swift

Favorite Male Singer
Jay-Z
Sean Kingston
Mario
Ne-Yo

Favorite Song
“I Gotta Feeling,” Black Eyed Peas
“Paparazzi,” Lady Gaga
“Party in the USA,” Miley Cyrus
“You Belong with Me,” Taylor Swift

Favorite Movie
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Favorite Movie Actor
Zac Efron
Taylor Lautner
Shia LeBeouf
Tyler Perry

Favorite Movie Actress
Sandra Bullock
Miley Cyrus
Megan Fox
Zoe Saldana

Filed under: Kids' Choice Awards - Miley Cyrus
by Hilton Hater
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Having taken herself out of the running last week, Ali Fedotowsky returns to The Bachelor tonight … at least over the phone. Who would have guessed?

We did. Not only because The Bachelor spoilers we’ve been posting all season long predicted it, but because THIS SAME SCENARIO HAPPENED already.

Just last summer, even. Ed Swiderski left The Bachelorette to return to work, then flew back unannounced and asked Jillian Harris for a second chance.

He went on to win. Will the cute, blonde Ali Fedotowsky achieve a similar shocking, not-at-all staged comeback victory? That’s another question entirely.

One thing’s for sure, though. When she calls Jake Pavelka tonight and asks to return to The Bachelor, he puts on his best “trying to look shocked” face:

Cameras happen to be both Ali’s and Jake’s rooms at 6:05 a.m. What are the odds? About the same as him being told how to emote via cue cards while picking up.

How will this potential reunion go down on The Bachelor? Will Ali be granted a second chance? Or has he already moved on to Vienna Girardi and Tenley Molzahn?

Follow the jump for an epically cheesy clip from tonight …

What do you think? Should Jake take Ali back? Is he the worst actor in history? Isn’t it coincidental she has promotional photos from ABC on her bedside table?

You tell us: Who should get the final rose?

Filed under: Ali Fedotowsky - Jake Pavelka - The Bachelor
by Free Britney
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Tiger Woods and wife Elin are trying to repair a shattered marriage.

Whether they succeed or will be living apart permanently may hinge on some skeletons in his closet. And by skeletons we mean a couple Phoenix hoes.

About three years ago, Tiger was in bed with two girls, enjoying one of the raunchy threesomes he so favored, according to the New York Daily News.

“Suddenly, he realizes one of them is taking pictures or videotaping him with the other girl,” says a source close to the situation. “Tiger goes ballistic.”

“He starts chasing the girl. She runs out the door. He runs after her. I don’t know how much clothing either of them is wearing, but Tiger finally catches up with her and grabbed her cell phone or camera or whatever it was that had the evidence.”

That may be the funniest thing we’ve ever read.

Good luck trying to explain this one to Elin, Tiger.

We don’t know what’s more amazing about this account, the fact that it’s Tiger Woods chasing down some girl trying to track down his own sex tape, or the fact that these chicks are not among the dozen Tiger Woods mistresses we know.

Probably the former.

In any case, Tiger was far from pleased, and the ladies promptly hit the road. A few days later, Tiger heard from the one he chased … through her attorney.

“She claimed she’d been injured during their scuffle,” says the source. “She’d hired a lawyer.” Even if charges were baseless, Tiger was behind the eight ball.

After all, what could he say? According to the source, Tiger’s handlers diffused the scandal by making an arrangement in which the girls got hush money.

Standard operating procedure.

You may recall in December, Tiger’s lawyers won an order in London blocking the publication of any Tiger Woods sex tape or nude pictures … if they exist, that is.

Could these women have been the ones shopping it?

Filed under: Sex Tapes - tiger woods
by Free Britney
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Simon Monjack is the epitome of a bad seed.

Dude is such a shady character that minutes after Brittany Murphy died, THG readers were speculating that he must have had something to do with her demise.

That’s unfair to the guy. But little he does can be taken at face value. Such is the case with the Brittany Murphy Foundation, a charity he started to honor her.

The only problem? It’s not really a charity.

The Brittany Murphy Foundation run by Simon Monjack and Brittany’s mother Sharon hadn’t filed the necessary documents to qualify as a charity or nonprofit.

As soon as this was reported, its website was shut down. It’s now back up with the following notice, promising to give back all donations so far …

Pretty sketchy explanation about getting off the ground quickly … definitely not to capitalize on media attention paid to the late 32-year-old’s tragic death. Naw.

The non-foundation says it will wait “until we have our non-profit status approved before proceeding to insure we can truly honor Brittany’s charitable desires.”

If those desires included a Simon Monjack Drinking Fund, she’s smiling somewhere right now. If they were anything else, we wouldn’t be holding our breath.

Filed under: Brittany Murphy - Simon Monjack
by Free Britney
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We hope you’re sitting down for this.

You best not be operating any heavy machinery when you hear the news.

Seriously, this is more stunning than Chris Harrison’s announcement that The Bachelor will have a shocking conclusion. Are you ready for it?

Tila Tequila is not pregnant. We’ll give you a few moments to digest this startling revelation…

Buried in a series of Twitter messages late last week, Tila wrote the following:

Today, of course, she made another reference to her “baby daddy” in a post. This woman is so bat $hit crazy confusing!

Even if Tequila is (gasp!) not actually knocked up, she’s still threating the universe with a child. She Tweeted last night:

Im in the process of adopting a baby from Kazakhstan, just like Casey’s Daughter. That’s all she wanted so Im adopting a child there. xoxo.

Whatever. We’re just glad Tila didn’t die over the weekend. Our life would be so much less funny (although so much more truthful) if she had.

Filed under: Tila Tequila - Twitter
by Hilton Hater
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Last week, Hailey Glassman told Steppin’ Out magazine that her ex-beau Jon Gosselin’s penis is “tiny, tiny, tiny.” Not a lot of room for interpretation there.

It looks like she’s not alone in her assessment, either.

According to Us Weekly, Jon’s former wife Kate Gosselin had a somewhat different, but similarly critical way of referring to his manhood, or lack thereof:

“Stubby.”

Imagery we do not need on a sleep-deprived Monday morning.

The former Mr. & Mrs. Stubby in happier times.

According to a family source, Kate would joke with friends and family about Jon’s genital shortcomings, and even called him “Stubby” to his face to mock him.

Sounds like something that grating nag would do.

Jon is currently getting cozy with new girlfriend Morgan Christie, who has yet to comment on the size of Lil’ Jon. We give it a couple of weeks, but no more.

Over the weekend we Tweeted at Hailey Glassman, who Jon dated post-Kate and pre-Morgan, about her recent comments and got the response seen below.

No one can accuse her of lacking a sense of humor … in fact, with an analogy like that, she might make a terrific content writer at The Hollywood Gossip …

Filed under: Hailey Glassman - Jon Gosselin - Kate Gosselin
by Free Britney
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